Bongiwe Ndlovu

A Happily Sad Girl - Poem by Bongiwe Ndlovu

5 and half attempts of committing suicide, you would think that she had learnt her lesson.
Many rejections later, u would think that she had learnt to be strong.
Many back stabbings later, you would think that she had healed and moved on. Hundred heartaches later, you would expect her to be the master of pain and internal bleeding.
8000 litres of tears later, u would expect her to dehydrate and cry no more.
With lots of love to give, you would expect her to be happy.
She not only have kept her head above the water and tried not to drown, her tears have drowned her already. Her heart has not melted yet, she believes it is made like a rock.
In the situations she's been through, and the pain she has felt, she believes it is not done yet.
Those who have rejoiced in her pain and danced to her screaming
Those who found music in her troubles, have not only made her bitter but convinced her to stay devoted to God.
Her smile would never tell you her story, nor her eyes reveal her story
Well hidden in her heart and buried in her soul, is the pain she feels.
Her life is a well kept secret locked with a code, not even the state knows.

If you have never been or seen her shoes, may u not speak of understanding.
She prefers your silence, than your words of encouragement/comfort
When she had found an answer, she knew what to do with it
And gave it a rest in her mind, none can know nor tell about it.
Those who claimed to care, have taken 10 steps backs, for what they hoped for had not turned out as said will.
Those who prophesied in her life have fade away....
The world have disappeared in her world, alone she feels alone she is.

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, April 15, 2012

Poem Edited: Monday, April 16, 2012

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