A Look At Life-91 Poem by Smrui Ranjan Mohanty

A LOOK AT LIFE-91
BY-SMRUTI RANJAN MOHANTY

I REPENT

My father!
Sometimes I feel
You are not with me
You are somewhere else
Sometimes I feel
You are not my father
You are someone else
Is it because
You don not love me
The way I love you?
Is it because
I ate the forbidden fruit
Deviated from the path?
Is it because I acted contrary to your will?
Many a time I erred
Many a time I did something
Which my conscience never approved
Many a time I repented
Many a time I apologized
But committed the same mistake again and again
Many a time I cried
Many a time I indulged in the same game
Knowing well that I am committing a mistake
My father! I have made a complete
Mess of my independence
Neither I deserve nor wish to be independent
Don't make me independent again
I do not know how to carry myself
Get over my instincts and passions
I don't need anything that takes me
Miles away from my life and love
My Lord! don't leave my hand
I am in between the devil and deep sea
You may not forgive me
But don't go away from me
If you go away
How shall I live and why shall I live?
Who else other than you can drag me out
Of the spell of your maya.
My father! I do not know
What is my role in the cosmic drama of Yours
Let your gift, my life on earth
Be nothing but a garland of your wishes
I know not
For what I am here
Let nothing but thy wish be reflected
In my action and inaction,
Thoughts, words and deeds
I need nothing
Have no desire to be a Udhab
A Sanat Kumar or Sudama
Just make me specks of dust at your feet
Bless me to surrender
The way Draupadi surrendered at your feet
Love you the way Gopis loved you
Throw me wherever you wish
Heaven or hell does not matter
It is thy wish I respect by all means
I am not bothered where I am
But never let my mind waver even for a minute
Let it be always at your lotus feet

Smrurti Ranjan Mohanty©
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