A New Way To Celebrate Poem by Kynthia Rosgeal

I sit before my notebook
looking at the blank screen
and ask myself what? What do
I put on this this time? What

experiences are waiting to flood
from my fingers onto the key
board, giving life to a part
of my formerly secret history?

And I realize, there is nothing
to write, beyond I am happy
it is a simple thing, but one I
control. Now, before I could

taste it, occasionally, until
my other half would remind
me I wasn't alone, not
completely, and my anger

and fear would haunt my
thoughts. When offered a penny
for my thoughts, I would laugh
ruefully, 'If you only knew'

And I knew, I knew what
a phony I was, what a lie
my life was, so no being
happy, not then, not ever.

But now I control it. I control
me, my happiness does not
depend on secrecy, lies
My happiness, is all I have

deep in my heart, my wonderful
two hearts.