The strength I draw from you I make my own
to fight for you so happy you can be
and of this strength I hope it's eas'ly shown
through strength for you my love enhanced be.
Though taken from, this well will not run dry
as strangers meet when meetings seem most rare-
as lovers part when lovers want to cry,
my heart with you I would forever share.
A fool may hold you hard within his grasp,
his heart so tightly clutched in your sweet hands,
but he cannot, in silence, seek repast
in seeking water, reacheth he for sand.
Climb with me, forever through the stars
for you, I'd steal from God his every scar.
This is a great use of the sonnet form. The last line is great. as lovers part when lovers want to cry, /my heart with you I would forever share' is a great turning point in the piece and I can see that you havn't just thrown 14 lines together. My only doubt with this is the fourh line. It seems forced and out of place in this otherwise great use of the sonnet.
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
I'm really impressed with this sonnet and the way you skillfully handle both the rhythm and meter. I would beware, however, of archaic language. (reacheth)) It detracts from you sonnet, in my opinion Raynette