A Wonder Poem by Dean Bottomley

Once I held a wonder in my hands
It was not mine but was, for that brief time, for me.
Beauty, wonder, a feast for heart and eye
Mine to care for, cherish, love, and for me to love.

And love I did, with both heart and mind.
But that wonder gave back to me a thousand fold.
Gave back more than I knew how to give.
Scared I drew back, with open hands I let it go.

I love but know not how to be loved.
Meeting bodies I can handle, meeting hearts no.
Till that lesson I can truly learn
I cannot return love when love to me is given.

I will not tie a loving person,
Anchor him with chains of my inadequacy.
If I cannot love and really give,
Accept loves checks and cares, as tokens of such love

Then I should not have love in my life.
Love not returned in full is love that soon must die.
Two bodies joined is not love in truth
Love is from a heart that cares, and chides, and seeks nought.

I must learn that lesson to be free.
To loose past indoctrination gained in pain.
Love without any expectation.
Till then be free of me and find one to love you back.

You are a wonder that once was mine.
I only held you back, could not return love
For love given: I gave back only pain.
Be free my friend, follow your dreams, find real love.

If I could love I would return to you
Enough to fill your heart and life; to give you back
That which you have have planted in my heart.
I once held a wonder in my hands: it was you.