Advice For My Boy Poem by stu aitken

Always put the alarm on snooze at least until you’re get out of bed
And never let a too pretty woman get inside your head
Never eat yellow snow and always wait for the green to go

If you witness something be prepared to swear blind
Unless of course you realise you were very drunk at the time

Always open the door for a chick; but never offer to baby sit
Don’t drink so much that you cannot get yourself to bed
Or you’ll end up with more than just a throbbing head

Don’t allow possessions to rule you’re life
And be prepared to spilt it all, if you lose your wife
And on that note don’t succumb, to a loveless marriage devoid of fun

Make sure that you enjoy your youth, be wild, outspoken and don’t be tame
Never lose sight of your ultimate aim, wisdom, wealth and a degree of fame

Never judge a book by its cover but an ugly chick will never be any other
If you’re not in bed by midnight come home; but don’t succumb to drinking alone

Don’t define yourself by what you oppose, but rather by what you disdain
And remember it’s damaged on both sides when you smash a pane

Let humour be your saviour when times are looking grim
Avoid letting leftover curry scraps, fester in the bin

Be academic, amicable, alert; and a damn good lover
Treat a lady with behaviour normally reserved for your mother

Don’t get into too much debt and always keep a safety net
Don’t change the plan until it needs changing, always be decisive; even if its raining
In short live life within the law, be kind and honest to one and all

One last point son, if you can
Fight inevitable recourse to Grumpy old man!