Am I Here Now Poem by Darren kaplan

Am I here now
At the gates of Insanity
Fear that makes my skull burn
Wildfire scorches everything
I'm right at the end
The brink of hell
Imagination terrorises
It won't stop
The eyes of a mother holding her baby
As the flash of Hiroshima blinds the window
Is this real
My mind stunted as I collapse to the floor
Conscious that this is happening
Body trembling
Confusion strikes mercilessly
Why will it not stop
Madness laughs at me
Body shakes
The lions teeth in my neck
Like the first millisecond of a gunshot
Impossible becomes a reality
I can see my corpse
Am I here now
Please I beg for silence
As rage drives into screams
Then into tears
The pain of sadness
I watch my mother walking in front
Tears escape my heart
As I cry for her
But she cannot hear me
She cannot feel what I need her to feel
Make it stop
I stair inside the walls of sickness
She has slits on her wrist
And burns on her face
Is this a nightmare
Gas fills the chambers of Warsaw
Chaos multiplies in my head
Who is this crazy women screaming at me
Am I her
The sound of ambulance sirens on repeat
Why hasn't it finished
Watching myself descend into the unthinkable
Am I here now
Staring at the gates of insanity