Ambigous Nature Poem by don't ever ask

I am colder now,
more than i was few days ago,
struggling to keep,
some of the sanity within.
i am much more sensible today,
than i was a few days ago,
even more fearful,
sinking into the blackest corner.
such a combination,
represents impossibility,
yet i'm colder to all,
but sensible towards you.
Like a volcanoe my peace you destroy,
it's al left ruined, shaken,
with unfertile lands and silly hopes,
with a false pretence and a shaken soul,
and then, it snows, like an ice age from hell,
in which my ruined spirit is covered,
a frozen heart, an empty shell,
sensible to you maybe exploding again,
immune otherwise,
frozen ruins forever remain,
seeking the heat of your destruction,
wanting the coldness of my nature,
a walking contradiction,
filled with love,
filled with hate,
hoping and dreaming,
crying and destorying,
living and smiling,
dead and crying,
ice and fire,
cold and hot,
this is me,
fear not.