An Eerie Tune Poem by Tori Beals
An Eerie Tune
An eerie tune
quiet and low
rattles the ground below
a desperate whine
for sunshine's glow
and yet
a warning too
It creaks and cracks
and all unspoken
a distant demon is awoken
my heart is aching
my soul is baking
and within me
my bones are shaking
The eerie tune
now high and loud
makes my head
feel like a cloud
the demon is coming
and I fear her
I think and think
my thoughts no clearer
Still she comes
nearer, nearer
I run and run
but to no avail
the demon is
on my tail
I scream and fight
and flee and flail
But the demon has me
slow and steady
I am down her throat
I am panicked and unready
for the pain of the claws
shredding teeth
but no matter what
I am dead meat
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/26/2024 10:12:53 PM # 1.0.0.1119
Sometimes there is no criticism to be given to a poem. There is no perfect one but everyone has their own interpretation of the way they read it. When i read this poem I felt the fear you were trying to prevail to the protagonist. Well choice of words. Nicely rhyming lines and the syllables are evenly matched to make a good flow. I didnt have to reread a verse to understand what you were trying to say. But I do believe the way you wrote the poem that it might also make it better to put into a 3rd person perspective to get the point across a little better. Good job. I give it a 9.