An Ode For Alexandria Poem by Kondwani Simwaba

An Ode for Alexandria
Tears roll down my cheeks when I think about it. A pen in my hand but I swear, this time around I cannot find the words to pen this down.
But here goes nothing…
There were nights I thought this was the end. I couldn't see the future; I thought that's all she wrote, I swear at times it seemed rather opaque. But if I cry then what message do I send? Somehow I thought this was the only way to remedy my own heart ache.
It must have been my height, the way everyone looked down on me; but this wasn't my first rodeo I have been this family's black sheep, not taking any pride in it but I swear I just pray this only ends with me.
Beaten to a pulp; whoever said Kings don't fall must surely be an ignoramus, because gravity doesn't segregate. I swear, some nights I felt like a princess drowning in the pool of my own tears.
These people have been nothing but Angels to me but I've done nothing but bring hell to them; the irony. I could hear the word ‘ungrateful' resound in my head, how am I supposed to be a King now?
Stuck in Limbo! How could something so beautiful turnout this ugly? How could everything change this abrupt in just a blink of an eye? Where's the time machine when you need it? Even I couldn't fathom this turn of events, I swear this isn't what I had in mind but it's pointless now isn't it?
Some nights I felt like Job, except I was still employed; I could have sworn, I really wanted to apologies for everything, every tear I caused; I really wanted to say sorry for my folly but then again, sorry only works if it is accompanied by a change in behavior right? Well, I guess this time I bottle these emotions somehow.
Someone told me to live and let live; that life happens, am I supposed to accept this because of this jargon? Baba black sheep; fall asleep, deep sleep black sheep don't weep everything will be alright in the morning.
I wept most nights; I sobbed in the morning, I cried to the stars; the skies witnessed me wail. Most days I walked around broken but I swear, there was one thing that kept me going; it made me stand in optimism because just like a phoenix from these ashes, I will rise on the night of Alexandria!
#RhapsodyArts
#Catharsis
#KingTMC*