As Far As I Am Concerned - Poem by RIC BASTASA

I was not born
yesterday, Let me tell you that i am aware
of what i am, where i am going, what i am after of.
I do not wish to speak
for i have nothing to say
what i know of
need not be spoken anymore
it need not be known
because my words are dying
but not looking for cure.
When you ask the questions
i have long pretended that
my answers are true.
They suit you and you leave
me happy thinking that
everything is alright with me
and all of us.
Now you doubt and you
want to ask some questions
those that you have long
wanted to ask
but to please you
i always use the same
answers until you stopped
coming and asking for more.
I have no use of speech
I have found reason only
in speaking to myself
as i begin to create a friend
that i alone can trust.
This is the imagined friend
who like me does not
find talk too necessary.
I used to talk once
like a child who loves you
but you did not bother
to mind each qualm for
thirst each complaint for
I have nothing to say
I have no prayers.
Because as far as I am concerned
I have long considered
myself finished.
When you come again
You shall know a friend of mine.
This ghost.
This emptiness that will
never fill you.
This stranger without
a traveling bag.
This silence without
a signature.
This vacant lot without
a home.

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Poem Submitted: Sunday, May 9, 2010

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