Ashes Poem by Adler Schroeder

Ashes fade away
The darkness turns to day
Do I still feel the pain?
I cannot tell, I cannot say.

The vines beneath my feet
Are crawling, creeping in.
The scars on my left hand
Are soon disappearing

I cannot leave, I cannot stay
I cannot run away

If that person ceased to exist
I would not have been this way
If I had never met her
Things would not have been a disarray

What shall I do?
What can I say?
From what, to me, was so dear
I have been torn away

I cannot blame her
She did no wrong
Perhaps the fault lies with me
Perhaps I am the cause

Where should I go?
Where should I hide?
Should I run away?
Should I lie?

Should I pretend?
Should I run?
Will I be a coward
Or will I face what is to come?

I used to wish for death
To wish to go insane
Now after what is done
Am I still pretending?

Perhaps I should go
Perhaps I should leave
I must learn to forget
So memories disappear like thieves

For I cannot breathe -
I have been drowned
Drowned in a lake
A lake of sweet memory

Maybe I should pretend
That I will forget
So that my wish would be fulfilled
And perhaps my life will end.