Atonement Poem by Karin Elizabeth Martin

On this day I relive my past
I am not criminal or unjust
I am aware of the things I have done
More aware of those that I have not accomplished
I remember many times I should have been there
For someone who was lonely or burdened
Maybe just happy and needing to share their joy
I have tried to be a good person
A good example for my family and children
I know I have failed in areas where I could have excelled
I also know I smothered at times when I should have listened
It is not for lack of knowledge or emotion
Mostly due to too much feeling
Sensitivity hurts and revealing transgressions is so hard
Today I reminisce about moments when I was selfish
But going back is not an alternative
Many friends have come into my life
They became lost in my utter chaos that was my life
Older now and in retrospect
My heart beats for those who know me
Some understood my thoughts or past
Some chose to turn a blind eye to the drama
Please know that I am grateful for everything
When I pray each night many ghosts from my past are present
As I utter my thoughts and thanks to GOD
If I could have some moments back
Maybe a life time
Just knowing all I was so naïve to
I would be everywhere I was supposed to
Utter words that did not come out
When my mouth was open but silent
My ears open but dismissing words
Forgive me for my trespasses
I am truly fortunate to have the things I do
Open mouthed and screaming thanks
To all who have hung on to me
For whatever reason
Because they knew I truly loved them