Marie Causey

Rookie (5/3/1959 / Newton Le willows UK)

Aunty Fanny's Funeral - Poem by Marie Causey

Auntie Fanny's funeral day oh my god what a to do
They had all thirty stone of her, all dead for all to view
I never knew she had a mustache little billy said
at that his dad took off his cap and slapped him on his head

When the cortege started off, the back tired on car went pop
forcing all the traffic in Liverpool to come to a stop
Then as if it could not get no worse it and well truly did
instead of lowering gently her coffin it all sort of slid

Ba-bang it fell into the hole all by standers got covered in mud
its a good job it was a solid box made of sturdy wood
Each person then shed a pretend tear, all put on for show
next off to the will reading the greedy buggers did go

To whom it may concern said Fred I will tell you what you got
My brother Tom I leave to you my 1920's piss pot
to all my little nephews I leave you my gall stone jar
and to my husband Harry I leave the debt on my new car

The reading went on for an hour, everyone was so miffed off
What a tight old bugger, said Mary with a cough
Next went to the pub, had ham butties and a little jar
they toasted Fanny's memory shouting. What a tight bugger you are

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Poem Submitted: Monday, April 9, 2012

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