Since I prefer planning ahead
I visited Saint Peters Gate before I was dead
I hoped to discover if in Heaven I’d be accepted
Or if my past would leave me damned and rejected
On my Heaven bound trip I pondered and worried
Should I arrive there before being buried
Didn’t want to upset the powers that be
Do all the things right to appear heavenly
The trip took forever, but I guessed that was the norm
Some angels at the gate gave me some forms
Asking personal questions that demanded reply
The answers of many were too hard to supply
I thumbed through the pages, found there were plenty
Embarrassing questions, at least nineteen or twenty
My dander now up, it wasn’t alright
To delve into my life, who gave them this right
Because of their downright intrusive intrusion
I quickly came to my final conclusion
I’ve no need to pass through their heavenly gate
I’ll be happy below where I’ll more hellishly rate
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem