Before The Beginning Poem by Quênia Lalita

it's a forceful state of mind
even agressive, at times
the act of concealing the stars
of my beloved inner wars
in this vault, there's no vow
able to survive or suppress
these impressive heists of digression
in my chest of abandoned stress

such a forceful state of mind
to be alone in a crowd
to eat the anger with a spoon
to swim, to swear, to swoon
for all that used to be but no longer is
and never will be again
chances were lost, fishless sea
breathing in, breathing out
try breathing without making mess
no one left will be that impressed

holding the future tantamounts to holding a harpoon now
but there is no more fish left, you see
i just swim, i swear, i swoon
so maybe when i am
a hundred and fifty years old
my life might begin
in this forceful state of mind
make pretend,
never fully adjusting
visualizing an ending
before a beginning even came.