Being A Dude Poem by Randy McClave

She said to me after our date
When I wasn't dressed up and I was a bit late,
How I didn't treat her the way a man should
And she said easily I could.
She then said to me, "Not trying to be crude"
"But, it must be wild being a dude",
"A man truly has no feelings"
"And all that he care's about, is his own dealings".
Then she said, "He can pee standing up"
"And he can even piss long distance in a Dixie cup",
"He likes to show off and be viewed"
"It must be exciting being a dude".
She said, "He can grow a mustache and a beard"
"Which I think is really weird",
"Not trying to being mean or rude"
"But", "it must be liberating being a dude".
Then as I walked her to her front door
She still had to say more,
I the male she was going to confront
As she brought it all up front.
"A man" she pointed out. "Has two eyes and two ears"
"But", "he still doesn't understand and he never sees or hears",
She said, "He doesn't want to understand a feeling or a mood"
"It must be uncaring", she said, "Being a dude".
She continued, "Imagine having two heads & still being dumb"
"Don't know where his smarts come from",
"This! " she said, "I must conclude"
"It must be psychological being a dude".

Randy L. McClave