Being Sincere Poem by Abel Obando

The game started
at the same instant i got stressed.
people around me, called by me friends,
do not have a clue of who i really am,
and try to understand that even if it is my fault,
i am not looking toward this situation,
it is just the way i am.

Some could think this is just because of depression,
but no,
it is the kind of life i've created for myself,
in some way i never get hurt and always get damage
but and the end of the day nothing is sustained,
and by the next morning a blank space in my head is created.

some-days suicide may be an option
but then i realized that i would never find what I'm looking for
by committing that action.

I really can not focus on one certain idea of happiness,
maybe it isn't in me to be happy,
maybe as some insects I'm suppose to just spread seed and die,
or maybe there is truly a God that is trying to show me who He is,
but why should i care?

Again,
i am not sure of what the hell should i do,
if there is a devil, why haven't he got me?
and if there is a god, why haven't he help me?

There are things that no one will be able to explain,
as no one will be able to take me out of my own life,
each and every day,
i'm more certain about my errors,
about my feelings for other people
and still get confused by my fears.

Maybe it is time to fight them all,
start a new life getting out some sense of sincerity,
having my pride be destroyed,
telling my love to someone near,
and getting rid of my lies life! !