Beneath The Mask Poem by Lumko Msuthu

It’s not the fear of falling but that of never rising,
Because I ran out of resets due to past attempts.
It’s a journey you can’t always come back from let alone forgetting your way home,
And though it never hurts to try it’s not worth a broken a heart.
I have helped wipe away tears from different eyes for different reasons,
And swore I would reserve mine but never for love.
Called in a mechanic to desensitize all fooling feelings and demanded he meld me numb
For such a climb always has one sliding back down.
I asked that in his deductions he leaves no rooms for exceptions, even emotions.
To avoid condemnation to painful, pointless heartaches,
And sweet dialogues that momentarily turns to arguments.
He left me with the ability to see but not feel,
Because such scars never really heal.
There are no warning labels or pamphlets with written instructions
Dictating my actions in the right direction. And if I’m lucky enough to realise
That I’m running at full seed with blinded eyes headed to a cliff with my demise,
I can alter the story’s ending to something less frightening
And acknowledge that I’m worth much more breathing than lying still in my grave.
The beauty of the stage is that tomorrow you get to do it all over again,
But sadly in life I have to dwell in my sorrow and endure the pain.
I let down my guard and dealt my cards driven by past successes,
Accelerating with no breaks and losing a bet with high stakes,
And I lost you.