Bitter Sweet Comments

I like the the storyline which exudes stark passion...Have you ever considered structuring your work by employing stanzas, rather than in paragraph format which is more prosaic in appearance and can be difficult for Readers to take in as you meant for them to....Remember, we should always right so that our audience will read our work the same way as we would recite it to them in person...You have creative flair, and IMO, much potential to maximize...When you get a chance, read some Contemporary poetry, and you will see what I mean regarding structure, as well as employing punctuation in key areas of your poems, so that(once again) your audience will be treated to a mellifluous read by a talented quiller...Keep that pen pumping and...Good Luck, Ana~FjR~