Bittersweet Poem by Ryan Joseph Holder

These nights they seem
To last forever...
and yet my dreams
Turns to a nightmare..
And all I see, your memory
Haunting me inside
I can't escape this pain I
Simply can't subside
My very heart has halted
And though I cannot breathe
You take the very breath from me
And truly what I need
My soul has taken flight
And it doesn't plan on returning
It's okay, I wouldn't want it.
Maybe this will stop the hurting...

I've lost my mind
And I don't want to find it
This is the way I'm meant to be
So just leave me behind and...
I don't care what you think of me
I don't care what you say
I think much less of me than you do
So please just...go away

My very heart is broken
It's stapled down the middle
I need to feel the pain it brings
If even just a little
People see right through me..
And even if they don't
They never seem to understand
What others simply won't
Lose me in a sentence
Lose me in your mind
Leaving me in memory
Forgetting me in time
This bittersweet spell
This object...this curse
I wouldn't want it broken
For I'd feel so much worse

I've lost my mind
And I don't want to find it
This is the way I'm meant to be
So just leave me behind and...
I don't care what you think of me
I don't care what you say
I think much less of me than you do
So please just...go away

I won't give into emptiness
I will not take the fall
I'd rather feel the pain
Than feeling nothing at all