John Kipling Lewis

Rookie (3/12/1968 / Manhattan, KS)

Blackberry - Poem by John Kipling Lewis

Hold your chain and read as you walk. A zombie
dragging his chain.

You must obey when the chain rattles and clangs.

Pulled to task by your masters.
Slave to the text from your masters.

You no longer work only at the office,
but at the whim of the man above you.

Did they raise your pay when they gave
you your chains or did you feel a sense
of excitement, honoured to have such
a prize.

Comments about Blackberry by John Kipling Lewis

  • (11/5/2007 9:31:00 PM)

    I like this one but it needs a little work on the wording. (Report) Reply

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  • (11/5/2007 2:08:00 PM)

    5. Starts out ok, but then you tell the reader the point of the poem. Show, don't tell. Use the metaphor to explain yourself. (Report) Reply

  • (8/3/2007 6:42:00 PM)

    Speaks to everyone (well almost) but it's not woven and crafted as well as some of your other poems. (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Saturday, June 23, 2007

Poem Edited: Tuesday, March 15, 2011

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