Blaming Poem by victoria martinez

When I was young
I used to be made fun of
When I was 10
I accidentally killed a dog
When I was 13
I broke my brother’s leg
When I learned how to drive
I got in 23 accidents
And totaled 11 cars
I managed to lose 27 of the 65 jobs I’ve had
I have managed to make my mom cry over 1254 times
I’ve burnt down 7 houses
I’ve dropped 37 cartons of eggs
I’ve lost 5 cats
Didn’t feed 12 fish; they died
I have ripped 9 pairs of jeans
I have made 3 microwaves explode
I have broken 10 stoves
I have flood 14 hotel bathrooms
But, I’ve never spent a day without a laugh
Never lost a friend
And never drowned (hotel bathrooms)
And you know how?
I just blame someone else
It goes over real well…