Bolam Lake Poem by Sebastian Seal

I went to Bolam Lake
For my weekly swim with the swans.
The swans are kind and friendly,
Unlike the resident drake.

The water is nice and warm,
It's a natural hot spring, you know.
With carbonation and sulphur fumes,
To which many animals swarm.

At least that's what I thought,
But yesterday was cold and chilly.
I think someone turned off the power,
Or heating hadn't been bought.

The swans were pleased to see me,
The ducks rather less so.
The seagulls were rather nasty,
So in their nests I had a wee.

There's nice woodland around,
With a few trees and shrubs,
Possibly the odd squirrel too,
And lots of buffalo abound.

I swam back and forth on the lake,
Wanting to get my hundred-metre badge,
Things were going swimmingly,
Until I bumped into the drake.

'Sorry, ' I said, apologetically.
But the drake was rather upset.
He pecked and pecked at my head,
And so I withdrew very stragetically.

Swans came to my rescue,
They drove away the ducks.
Never has so much been owed,
By just me to so few.

I wanted to give my thanks,
But they told me it was their pleasure.
They disliked the ducks as well,
And were sick of their childish pranks.

Then people came and threw us food,
I scoffed as much as I could.
I don't care much for wet bread,
But didn't like to be rude.

As night fell I said toodle-oo,
I bounded away back home,
While the swans went to sleep,
And the others away they flew.