Brainwashing A Greenhorn In My College Den Poem by John Sensele

I dubbed a first year my room mate
Upon arrival into our teacher training college
To baptize him. His pride in quick order I did decimate
Taking him at high celerity on a binge

Initiating him into traditional beer
In a nearby shanty compound
Where I got his head into God's fear
Whereby upon returning the greenhorn couldn't push anyone around

The special welcome made him the follower
I desired
Having diminished his self-concept and self-esteem lower
Than he aspired but higher than he perspired

I proceeded to indoctrinate him into elocution parlance
As best as I could
Ensuring he possessed a college etiquette lance
That would

Not upstage Special
Whom he soon began to emulate
With artificial
Manners to dissimulate

The nascent confidence he feared might offend me
If he grew overconfident
More than I could agree
If he became less diffident

But he played the good boy
Obedient like a lapdog
Happy to enjoy a bone for a new toy
Like a contented warthog

When my training petered out
Satisfaction smiled
In my bosom without any shadow of doubt that my clout
Tamed the greenhorn who wouldn't succeed in getting me riled.