Breaking Again (12/23/10) Poem by Melissa Mary

I broke tonight
and it felt so good
when our lips touched
it all felt right
and i never wanted to leave.
but i broke away from your warm embrace
and walked into the cold alone again.
those few seconds of holding you
made me want the world we had back
and not have to pay my dues.
but life is unfair
and i am unhealthy
when i light the flame
and inhale the wonderful intoxicants of death.
i miss you so much
and now that I fell I know I will fall again.
There is so much going on
and I keep adding things that will weaken me more.
How many times do I need to be hurt
before I realize that I need to move on
how many things need to become disastrous
before I stop doing this to myself
I'm killing myself
and I need help.
Oh, but I seek help from you
and that is the worst thing I can do
because you turn around and use me
the way that I use you.