Broken Fist Apology Poem by Andrus Cassian

I've done it again, I've tried resisting the urge
but the anger took over and won
so did the brick wall that shattered another knuckle
How many times have I been through this
Only twice, hopefully this is the last time
I can't bear for her to see my face steaming
I can't bear everyday for myself to see her give me the saddest look that rips me in half
I can't bear to see the look in her eyes...
I might as well be a shadow under the sun
Let this pass but only music can bring me out of this trance like state
Cause I refuse to let anything else to try and shape me
even though I let a wall shape my hand and a girl shape my heart
Shield her eyes, I could try but I wouldn't succeed
She's concerned, she's mad; I'm reckless but not careless
I didn't want a fight, just something to hit
but I didn't want her to see me boasting my pain
I didn't want her to see the steam pour from my skin
I didn't want her to see the look in my eyes
So I avoided hers which I felt watching me
I'm physically and mentally tired because I waited up all night to show her my world
a great accomplishment I would call it but it was only something minor
Too bad she has to be where she is right now
cause I need a wave of calm, I'm too tightly wound
Sorry Trapt, I needed that analogy since this headache is keeping away all my creativity
The only thing left to say
I can never let a wall shape my fist again
cause that same wall that won against my fists
would dig a trench in me and root a wall inbetween me
and that earthly star that I have to forcibly leave at 3: 40 pm