Burnout Poem by Gabriella Diane

Burnout

Rating: 5.0


my friend she weeps for womankind
the kind of woman she has become
makes a mockery of a broken soul
and forbids the allowance of love


my friend knew well what needed to be done
and she did, righteously
(for the good of womankind, of course)
break the heart of one, carelessly


my friend she gets mad when I say love needs patience
but she is not the virtuous type
no time no need no more she insists
and breaks a bond for her hectic life

my friend ignites and inspires me
upon her time of darkness
when she tells me her flame for him has died
I tell her mine’s just been lit

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Phillip Sawatzky 24 March 2006

Gabriella, Good flow and tone of words, though that last stanza, when I read it, gives me a tick-I think what it is, is that, the words, 'is seemingly inspiring to' are trying too hard to tell me what's going on-and something says to me that it might read its intent better if it read, My friend inspires me, upon her time of darkness.....Because you're friend obviously inspires you, and you care enough about her/him to state it. I think you have a beautiful mind and look forward to reading more of your work. Phillip

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