C.V.15 (The Fear) Poem by GRANT FRASER

Ever had the fear
to run,
like get right out
of there,
even as a kid I even got
as far as opening the lock,
and out the front door...

Along the outside balcony,
before they caught me,
My dad in his Jams!
(usually annoyed)
I didn't know where I was,
couldn't remember,
something about a dream...

The fear has always
been there, far back as
I can remember, squatting
nearby, trying to overthrow,
the homely night sky,
stars and moon,

Anyway the fear grew up
with me, side by side,
like whenever I was happy
" I'll decide...",
I wasn't always scared,
like all of us, I got thru it,

but it gets harder with age,
proving yourself, rites of passage,
self protection, you think there
will come a day, but no...
'life is just not like that? '
that's probably the saddest part,

And as I grew, I let fear literally
take over, but nobody noticed,
I did some things to alleviate,
and in the end made it worse,
(for a long long time actually)

I've never had much of a philosophy,
apart from sharing thoughts,
I like to appear interesting -
but who doesn't at some point,
the world just turns and turns,
and most say little, even nothing..

So fear, I have to say, comes out of
nowhere, usually when I'm happy,
or most at peace, it has upset
the world in which I try to live,
I've had some scrapes, and close calls,
irrational worries, fear loves all that!

But my recurring dream was always
about escape really, the shape of life,
and humans, violence and world destruction,
overload! , overload! ,
where to put it. run..run..run..
fear sometimes claims he's really a friend,
but I don't know?

I now have kids of my own,
but I don't really mention it,
wouldn't want to hold them back,
they appear to be stronger,
and I hope it stays like that...
but wars and governments,
I often cannot stomach their policies,

You see fear is also a
giddiness, about personal freedom,
from control, and political unrest,
and self interests, you see it's all one
neat package to me! ,
and "Money", I'd rather not go there,
self survival I'd rather not say,

Fear I now get guilty, even when I look
in the mirror, so I look right in,
I mean I truly glare back and tear
the whole thing down,
and when I'm not looking or aware,
fear finds a soft place to hide in,
or disappears for days on end...

Now the virus appears, like a dream,
destructive, invincible, yet nowhere
to be seen, there's nothing worse
than an enemy you can't see or find...,
with everybody panicking inside,
anyway it's there, of course it is...

That's fear you see, it never truly loses,
and it certainly has a best friend,
and we all know whom that is? ,
and so I say to you watchers, friends,
I hope we all pull together on this one,
and not let it completely overrun us...