Can Not Love Poem by basil nesheiwat

I sit here thinking is it possible
Pondering the question why
I sit here thinking
Can it really happen
I sit here thinking no it can not
But then I think to myself it
Can happen if it is meant to be
I sit here thinking why not
Its my life to live not everyone else’s
I sit here wanting it to happen
Yet the idea of it coming true is so scary
I fear that I will not know what to do if it really happened
I sit here trying to trick my self to think that it will
Happen
But the truth is it can not happen, I will not allow it to
Happen
I sit here hating the realistic thoughts that pass
Through my head telling me, convincing me, and showing me
That I will never be able to have her ever.