Cancer Ward Poem by Anisa Tara

I took it home with me
Dew drops in their beds
Soiled socks for my soles
The sight of tiny bald heads

I took it home with me
Underneath my sheets
The sight of tiny, bald heads
I took them to sleep

I woke and found it gone
The sighs of tiny, bald heads
Their raspy voices
Tubes too big for tinier veins

I woke and lost it
I never returned to the hallways
To the odorless rooms
To the beds heavy with grief
Not yet realized

I took myself home
From the carnage of life
And pushed it out
It left me momentarily
Then found me again

I knew its hallways
Long before I knew
I would cower in corners
And wail for you

I knew its smells
I knew the floors
I knew the nurses
I knew them all

I knew the clanging doors
I knew the sun setting
The beeps of monotony
Echoes of the west wing

There was no sliver now
No masked smiles
No bright-coloured toys
No pretension for a child

This time around
The beeps accompanied me
All the way into my dreams
I saw its monotony

I couldn't erase the moment
It seeped deep into my soul
That dreadful night when
The hospital followed me home