Computers Can’t Help It Poem by C Richard Miles

If your PC ever malfunctions
I’ll give you a piece of advice:
Don’t swear at it or hit it;
Be sure to treat it nice
For, Though we expect perfection
When we tap on our machines
Computers are like children
You don’t know where they’ve been
And each of them is different
Full of inconsistency
For they’ve had an education
Individualised – you see
They learn to read our feelings
They learn just how we tick
And exploit our every weakness
It’s enough to make you sick
But we mustn’t really blame them
When they’re not as good as gold
Because each wayward program
Does exactly what it’s told
And on most of the occasions
When we moan and swear and cuss
At our insolent computer
The actual fault is us
For it’s we who are the problem
Since we’re careless with the keys
And it’s always human error
That brings us to our knees
So don’t blame the computer
When it does what you tell it to
But reflect and you’ll discover
That the answer lies with you.
Or if not you, another
Who touched the mean machine
Perhaps the foolish programmer
Or the nerd behind the scenes
Who sent a vicious virus
To muck up all your smiles
And while you give up wanly
Your computer simply smiles
And knows, if it wasn’t for humans
It could perform impeccably
So just switch off, reboot it
And go for a cup of tea.