Condemned Poem by Andrus Cassian

I'm a combustible element, a raging whirlwind doomed to a small space
I need some air, something to calm my agitated nerves
but the illness to my symptoms won't leave me be
Her persistance is strong although the truth in her words are laughably frail
She claims amnesia of the role she played in killing me
but the entire sequence is fresh in her mind
the emotional rampage I waged all Friday
How dare I let her sink so deep in my skin
how dare I let her still talk to me this way
This is on the list along with the cutting of the wrist
belonging to the rest of my friends, herself included
I wish to forget every single bit
It's a sour taste in, my mouth like the taste of her lip gloss
bitter, broken; a lemon made into lemonade
a terrible cliche, one I intend to burn at the stake
and the person who made it, obliterate
It will satisfy my gnawing need to fight senselessly, blindingly
since I can't erase the main cause of the stress strangling me
I am beyond overwhelmed, gripped by the neck dangerously
by the hands of an irrelevant soul
His relevance will commence once I rip out his tongue
and beat him with it until he is left unrecognizable
Ruthless, I know it seems but it would finally justify the means
It's just my imagination, it may never happen
I just want to scream in attempt to feel better
but it favors the weakness and I'm knocked down deeper
Is there no end, how do I get myself out of this hole
No more tired advice, I have to do this on my own...
(sigh) but this is how far I've gotten on my own...
Condemned to fighting myself, resisting the urge to hit stone
Condemned to drive myself insane for the will of a fight I may not win
Condemned to try and find myself in the abyss of my mind
Condemned and struggling to put my heart back together
Condemned...I don't know
(sigh) I don't know
Why do I persist to stay alive
when I'm already dead inside