MoonBee Canady


' Confessions Of A Cereal-Killer... (Lol) - Poem by MoonBee Canady

(A Tale of Malicious-Deliciousness (chomp-chomp)


This Is Confessions of A Cereal-Killer:
Declaration of A Diet’s Death-Dealer
A Tongue-Twisted, Taste-Tempted-Thriller
A Breakfast-Box Life-Spiller …

This Is Her Customary Morning Fix
She’s Abducted & Addicted To This
But The Only One To Tell
Is The Burdened Bathroom Scale …

“She’s Coo-Coo For Coa-Coa-Puffs!
Yes, It’s True … She Can’t Get Enough
She Slays Them With A Slurp
Even Guzzles Them Down With Burps

And She Slaughtered That Silly Trix Too!
& Reese’s Puffs – She Snacked-Attacked You
& Tony The Tiger – He Wasn’t So Tough!
She Buried Him Backyard In Corn-Husks

She’s Done 30 Munch-Murders Each
And Every Victim Always Screeched
30 Axes She Used To Cut Them In Half!
You Can See Each Axe Every Time She Laughs

Thru The Years, She’s Lost Two Back-Blades
& A Couple of Victims Made Their Escapes
When On The Floor, They Fell Afraid
Watching The Other Victims … She Ate …

She’s A Cerebral-Cereal-Psychopath!
A Cereal-Killer Mouth-Unmasked
A Teeth-Wielding Maniac!
& TV Knows: When Cereal-Killer Is Back

She Sits Behind The Newspaper
Smirking About The Investigator
Still Chomping Like An Alligator
She Won’t Leave Any Clues For Later

Honey-Bear – Was Golden, Sugar Crisp
He Died So Fast – Cupboard Didn’t Miss
Others Screamed & Cringed Like Capt.’ N Crunch
& Chex Didn’t Know – He Was For Lunch!

Kellogg’s Caught Her With Their Troops
But On Trial, She Got Off With Fruit-Loops
They Even Sent In General Mills
But To Find Other Fiends – They Cut A Deal …

They Were Looking For The One Who Killed
and Boiled & Bubbled Old Man Oatmeal! …
(But She Was The Local-Lunatic)
She Also Cooked & Buttered-Up Some Grits

But She Gave Up Her Cousin In A Heartbeat
He Had Criticized Her For Too Sweet-Sweets
So, Did He Share Guilt of The Oatmeal Feat? …
Well, No … But He Did Do Mini-Wheats!

Now, Detectives Are Closing In Again
With Fiber-Optics & Healthy-Grains
But They Can’t Raisin-Bran or Shame
A Cereal-Killer In-The-Act-Insane!

And She’s Bold – She’s Been Heard To Boast
‘I Ought To Let Them Put My Pic On Post! ’
But She’ll Let A Baby Take The Blame
For Her Cereal-Killer Game!

See … Her Favorite Trusty-Treat Tool
Is A Stainless-Steel, Round-Soup-Spoon
And A Big White Bowl – Kept Fridge Cool
That Says: ‘Don’t Mess With Moon’s’
(uh-oh)

She Has Smothered Some Victims With Sugar
(ain’t prejudice / white or brown)
Then Pour Lots & Lots of Cold Milk
& Watch Snap, Crackle & Pop Drown!

They Caught Her With Bananas Stranded
& Also With Strawberries Red-Handed!
& Cinnamon – But Evidence Was Planted
By A Green-Clover Leprechaun That Landed!

Thought They Had A Special-K With A Cup of Joe
When They Brought In That Bumbler Cheerios
But They Had “Nuthin’ Honey” of An O
… and Had To Let Her Go!

See … Cheerios Are Real Heart-Smart
& They Know Cereal-Killer Is Warped
But Tonight She’ll Make Her M.O. Mark …
She’ll Get ‘Em Cornered In The Dark!

So Next Time You See Her In Cereal Section
You’ll Know Her By The Way of Her Selection
Yeah – She’s Loose & Under FDA Protection
… I Told You It’s Her Obsession

She’s Waiting For The Next Harvest’s Inspection
Is She Sorry? Not Even A Suggestion!
If You Try To Stop Her – You’ll Meet With Objection
& A Scoffing Cereal-Killer’s Confession …”

This Is Confessions of A Cereal-Killer:
Declaration of A Diet’s Death-Dealer
A Tongue-Twisted, Taste-Tempted-Thriller
A Breakfast-Box Life-Spiller …

(Eat Your Heart Out Dexter! (lol) Chomp–Chomp!)

Written & ©: 12/7/2011

(1 Tim.1: 11 – Because HE “Is” A Happy GOD)

By: The MoonBee


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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Poem Edited: Sunday, December 11, 2011


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