Confusion Poem by Samuel Chung

O I just don't know,
after telling you,
would it have been better,
better not to have raise the subject?

O I just don't know,
all these questions unanswered,
should I ask for them,
even if they are obvious?

O I just cant tell,
what you feel,
I just don't know what you
feel,
feel for me.

Why O why did I ever tell you,
two choices were given,
yet why did I pick this,
after telling you,
it just made it worse.

No longer can I talk to you,
without a air of silence.
unsure of what to do.

I can't lose you,
but it's already happened,
I took this all for granted,
till I really found out what you meant to me.

those nights,
O those sleepless nights,
did I brood over you.

I have neither courage,
to tell you,
thats why I wrote.

Im sure you will never read this.
but if you do.
please leave a memory of me
being me
and not for my mistakes.

those mistakes, are burned into my mind,
and I am sorry.

O how I don't know
that name, that bell,
still gives me hope,
yet drives me to hide
to hide away from you
and the shame of my failure to you.

if ever you should read this
then read it as you see fit.
read it with rage that I wrote about you,
or read it with regret to know how you broke me.

I hope you will one day return,
may the old version of you
come back
and let me smile again