Couples Comments

R, telling you to write better images, etc. doesn't help much, I know. You need to immerse yourself in good contemporary poetry. Your stuff is adequate (I've read a lot worse here on this pretty lousy site) but allowing good poets to inspire you is crucial for your development. I could send you a list of poets whose work over the years has shown me what was possible. Yrs, JC

Work more on your feelings...work more on your words..try to connect them in an indirect way rather than directly as a letter...use more, metaphors and simile..but of course your poems are yours alone... arrange the lines in a better way and you could do with some more poetic words... and read more poems...that will help you.. You can surely improve fast if you mean it..also try writing on completely different topics...your own feelings with yourself...think of your mind and what it feels apart from what it feels for others...you can do a wide variety of poems and you will be amazed to find how big the world inside your mind itself is...

very touching poem. This would be so nice to send the person who the poem is about-if it is about a true experience. My only suggestion to make it even better would be to use a few more descriptive words. But all in all- I think it is a very moving piece- it makes the reader feel your pain. Good job- Claudia