Claudia Krizay

Claudia Krizay Poems


Fear, anger, mistrust and nearly
Half a century of
Living in a world unfamiliar
To all but myself-

From childhood memories of band aids and skinned knees,
To those of losing myself to another world,
You were always there for me.
You were the mother in my heart,

Alone in this world,
Not meant for me to live in, I never knew
Why the sun rose and set, why it rained so hard-
My tears, my tears-That fell upon the edge of time-

Imprisoned, while
Eyes, fixed upon

Upon every pathway I walk, I see your shadow, and
In every pond and creek, I see your reflection-
Upon these pathways I find the trace of your footsteps.
In every thought I have, your memory is still alive.

Hanging by a thread, I had been, with no relief from fear-
I was drifting in a rowboat lost in the midst of an unfamiliar ocean,
In a state of mind going no place-
Searching for direction through a tunnel of madness,

This is the time of year being that everything is awakening – once again-
Flowers are blooming everywhere-
Crocuses, daffodils and Cherry blossoms- and
Dogwood, both white and pink

There are those who are forever searching and
After many decades have passed lose themselves to another world-
Although with much certainty and disillusionment
I can hardly remember living much of a life in

The sun sets as the moon rises above the mountaintops –
Rhythmic music rings in the air as
Tambourines play within a band of angels in the sky-
Within a moment’s notice I would board a ship and


I have let go of time,
I have let days disappear and
As I walk down this pathway of life
For a brief moment

In this moment I feel as if I am falling,
Into a prison from nowhere,
I see my shadow arabesque as
I watch my reflection appear


Run, walk Do not hide-
Last night and late morning- Shades of oblivion-
Trees bow in rhythm with the wind outside
Before and after this world was born-

I hate schizophrenia-
Spending months in a locked ward,
Pacing up and down low piled carpeted halls
Between therapy groups, and those nothing to do weekends.

Tears had once fallen from inside
Every part of me-
A breeze rustles the barren branches on the trees
In the midwinter, here where


My plight isn’t what you think or
What you care to believe-
Just as cherry trees do not blossom in
The month of January or

I am lost inside
A world of my own,
A world that I painted inside of my thoughts
Within a figment of my imagination-


As I lose myself inside of a world of my own-
Perhaps a shadow would pass me by,
Or maybe a fawn would wade in the creek
Along side of the path I walk-

Faces of terror, and
Mountains of madness,
Climbing upward towards oblivion,
I could envision

Being the only flower bearing yellow petals
Growing tall in the center of nature’s garden
Reflecting the sunlight and dancing in
The gentle early springtime breeze-

Early this morning I am outside walking along the trail-
The wind blows my hair about-
I cannot see for the moment but I can feel-

Claudia Krizay Biography

I am a fifty seven year old woman living with schizophrenia. I had high aspirations as a child and adolescent but my illness prevented me from seeking higher education.Through my artwork and poetry- although quite a novice poet. I cope with major mental illness through my writing, artwork, jewelry making and nature photography. I have published three books of poetry which I have illustrated with my artwork and photography.As my father was in the foreign service I lived abroad for a large part of my childhood. now I reside in my own condominium located in Silver Spring, Maryland, am unemployed though working on a fourth book which hopefully will be published at the end of this year.)

The Best Poem Of Claudia Krizay


Fear, anger, mistrust and nearly
Half a century of
Living in a world unfamiliar
To all but myself-
Has left me in dismay and in solitude-
Tomorrow is another day where
My morning shall be
Walking in the darkness, although
Moments away from sunrise and
Knowing that within a few hours
As I sleep- my mind shall become aware-
As if lightening has struck in some
Magical way-Fear, anger and
Mistrust shall disappear in a moment’s notice-
A different sort of sun shall rise
For me alone, shining light upon my kaleidoscopic world-
Black skies transform to cobalt blue as
A hurricane of sorts shall blow the sinister clouds away-
I shall see a rainbow rise from
Behind mountains of madness and
As the moon in its fullness disappears behind
Blossoming trees and I regain my sanity and hope,
Those alien voices shall be silenced-
Fear, anger and mistrust are hiding deep inside of a phantasmal river,
Rapidly receding and it shall only be days before
That river overflows and washes over me,
I can see those dismal clouds returning-
And all I can do is to remember words of wisdom telling me to
Grasp firmly onto those fleeting feelings of peace, hope and
Focus on the clarity of the skies above-
Feelings are so like thunderclouds- and
Finding one’s rainbow is a rarity- when lightening has struck your mind-
When feelings of fear and rage are inborn-
One never knows when the rain shall begin to fall again-
Voices that I hear are not real, and all I can do is dream
While the rain is falling until lightening strikes again-
Skies clear and although skies of cobalt blue so magnificent
Are in passing as is that phantasmal river before it overflows-
Perhaps in a different light it shall wash my tears away and hope shall remain, that
That magical sun shall someday rise for me alone and never set…

Claudia Krizay Comments

Neetha Sasidharan 02 May 2012

hi.. first of all i'm not big enough to comment abt u in terms of age or poetry skill... i know that very well..but i couldn't resist writing this... ur poems r ggggrrrrtttt...n this is not me.... though u rarely use rhymes, as i start reading ur poems it sort of attracts me to read the rest... u choose unusual topics or is it, like, the words just comes out of ur pen....... i'm wordless...just hatsoff.........

1 0 Reply
Rajendran Muthiah 19 March 2012

Your poem 'You are so far away' makes me tearful. The unheard voice of the hurt soul from the cage causes flowing tides of melancholy in my heart. Where is this voice from? Whose cry is it? Excellent piece of work.100%

1 0 Reply
Juan Olivarez 04 January 2012

Claudia lets you see the dark side of life through her poetry. Through her words which sometimes are dark, ominus, sorrowful and full of pathos you can see the suffering she has endured, and the battles she has fought, won, and sometimes been scarred in. Her poetry is realism 101, for all that need to know the terrible truth of schizophrenia. I wish you would read her work and roll it around in your mind that you may experiance her cross that she carries around on a daily basis. God Bless you Claudia. Be well.

1 0 Reply
Dwi Utami 29 August 2011

Dear poet my favorit poet..once we have fallen out only trivial problem..but i m sure you are the authorof a kind and patient so hopefully you can keep writing..

1 1 Reply

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