Crippling Thoughts Poem by Jessica Cummings

Crippling thoughts

They run through my head
From almost my time of waking
'Til time and beyond of bed

Crippling thoughts

Of loves short-lived
And even lost
Playback scenes
From the past
Of one-sided loved
Just beyond grasp
I hoped and dreamed
Of everything
Only to receive
Frustration
And nothing

Crippling thoughts

Of death
And not existing
Not enough
To provoke
My own life taking
But enough to
Provide interest
Like a toy of childhood

Crippling thoughts

Of happiness' definition
Expose thoughts of
Loneliness for which
There seems no prevention
And the emptiness
Of my robotic soul
Where wish fulfillment has left
A gaping heart-shaped hole

Crippling thoughts

Come out to play
And cause desires
To sleep away
Everything
And turn to grey
The brightest of
A beautiful day

How does one fight
The urge to go mad
And see the light
When one is sad?

(8/5-8/7/06)