Criteria Poem by Roger Gerald Hicks

They say judge a woman's generosity
by the width of her bed, the fullness
of her refrigerator.
This saying, about generosity,
is probably well known to women.

Don't you wonder if they all worry
sizes, the bed, the refrigerator?

A most generous woman I knew
had a cot-width bed
and no refrigerator at all,
being yet a student at home.

I wonder if she now has a king-size
and 24-cubic feet crammed
with every sauce and substance-
if she carefully records the dates
to verify all is fresh.

My bed is monstrous, the fridge
equal, but empty the way
the bed is usually.Do I dread
a she will waltz in, checking sizes
equaling them to my generosity?

And if, in Europe, do I make
allowances for the fact none
have large refrigerators
because all is bought fresh daily?
Or shall I cling to my Yankee prejudice?

What if I meet a woman, for instance
who has donated all
to Church or worthy causes?

Perhaps I'll just ask, "How wide
was your bed, how full your fridge."

Perhaps, I'll just listen
to the soft thumping of her heart.