Crossroads Poem by Narieth Elin

I've gone and felt the joys of freedom,
I've gone and sought this love for eons,
I've donned your slip with bliss and pleasure,
I've grown and fell in sightless splendour,
And still I long for touch of passion,
I drown deprieved and wretched,
For you still hold my hand, yet
No longer can I glimpse your guise…

It pains me amply, the dance of living
Keeps me ‘wake where rest demands it
Alert, entwined, at ease - then angered
I love this state; compound so distant
It feels so warm, so odd - exempt.
Concurrently it keeps me vexed.
How do I endure this vastness,
If even I cannot extend myself?

I'm unease made flesh, embodied,
Untie what is concealed or lost,
I step on to trembling conscious,
I nail it through with fierce resolve.
For I cannot impede my horrors
Only grow with them in form
And I cannot subvert my reason
Only yield to me,
or what I now present.