Fatin Hanani

Dear Brother... (In The Memories Of A Friend)

Whenever we buy ice cream, you always order vanilla and I always choose chocolate.

You always hated books; I have my personal library.
You always got called for bad grades; I always received awards.
You always stayed home; I always went to birthday parties.
You always hesitated to talk; I always went right up to say ‘hi’.

Whenever it was sunny, you stayed inside to play PlayStation and I went out to the playground.
You’re good at computers; I can’t install an external hard drive.
You had two girlfriends; I've been single all my life.
You’re gushing over action movies; I’m crying over reality.
You’re no longer afraid of rebelling; I still hide in my shell.

Whenever a ‘moment’ occurs, I turn my head to look at you and always find you looking back.

You laugh at the same joke I do.
You take photos of random things, just like me.
You share the same love for Japanese comics.
You endured the same pain when we were young.

Whenever I take out my guitar, you’ll take your turn and I always do the same when you take out yours.
You agree that Justin Bieber sounds like a girl.
You keep my secrets and I keep yours too.
You think up comments as sarcastic as mine.
You listen to Korean music because of me.

You are afraid of heights; I love thrill drives.
We both missed the cherry tree we climbed as kids.
You’re a human trashcan; I have small appetite.
We both threw popcorns in the cinema the day we watched Twilight.
You suck at drawing; I get A’s for my art.
We tend to lose track of time. You especially.
You love pink and black stuff; I prefer blue and white.
We…neither of us play any kind of sports.
You've always been healthy; I've been sick for four years.
We both prefer BBQ potato chips to sour cream and onions.

Our differences don’t matter because otherwise, we’re the same.
You missed your classes to donate your blood despite your exams being the following week.
You have to bunk on the sofa bed while I get the foam mattress but you never complained.
You were told I was dying but you acted like it was all okay though I know you were sad too.

You never voiced out what you wanted so I always asked for things for you instead.
You treat me like a person when everyone else handles me like a cracked doll of porcelain.
You’re trying to mend things with our father-something I’m not sure I can ever do.
You counter my ballads with random funny songs to brighten up the mood-even if it’s my room.

You’re my older brother by over a year and a half.
You’re a late bloomer and downright lazy when it comes to studying.
You’re awake till five and you sleep way past noon.
You’re unsure about your future but you don’t have a care in the world.

You’re my brother, my friend, the twin I never had.
You’re strong and funny and independent…more than me, anyway.
You’re struggling right now but I know you’ll shine through.
You've sacrificed a lot for me and I hope to do the same someday, for you.
You’re so precious to me…I don’t know what to do!
Just hope you know I love you and hope you’ll love me too.

By Irdina

Poem Submitted: Sunday, November 24, 2013
Poem Edited: Tuesday, November 26, 2013

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Poet's Notes about The Poem

A tribute to the original writer: Irdina Izzuddin Shah (1994-2011) .
I DO NOT claim this poem as a work of my own. I just want to show the beautiful words of my dear beloved friend, since she no longer have the...means to do it herself. This is also among the little pieces of her that I still have, that I still hold onto.
May God bless you, my friend. I will always remember you.
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