Dear God, Again Poem by Angela Bontle Ditumiso

Maybe I've been triggered by Sunday, a day of worship
Or maybe I've been meaning to say this all along
But I could never find the right words until now

Dear God,
I feel like a grieving mother
Mourning the death of a child she never met
Like a woke up from a coma to find that I had a miscarriage
And it hurts because I was really ecstatic about having a baby
And I want everything back
Back the way it was
Before the loss

God
I feel like an abandoned building
But I know you never left me
I'm the one who walked out
Leaving behind a collapsing body
With no soul
I don't know what to do
How do I get back
I don't think it's possible
To come back the same way I left

God please
Kill this flesh
Give me life again
I would lay down my life for you
I'm not afraid of death
I would gladly die to be with you