Dear Grandpa Poem by Celeina Ricolia

I don't understand,
I don't get it.
How do I cope?
It makes no sense how to wake up each morning,
Or how to sleep at night
How can I be happy?
When all I wanna do is cry
I'm so sad, I'm so lost
Dear grandpa,
I don't have any idea what to do
How do I cope?
How am I supposed to have peace, when I live in such a confusing world?
It makes no sense,
I don't get it.
It's so unclear and wrong.
I don't even get how I'm supposed to love,
When my heart is just flying away like a butterfly.
It makes no sense, it makes no sense.
My heart has been cut into a million little pieces,
It is so hard when your birthday comes or the anniversary.
I just don't know what to do,
How do I live in such a difficult world?
Why does God need so many angels, why couldn't he spare you?
I wish I could talk to you again, I wish I could just be happy.
How do I turn my frown, upside down?
Once again I'm lost, I'm lost without you.
‘Cuz somebody tore my heart into a million little pieces, crumbs on the floor.
It was just a few years ago,
At the end of fall,
When your hands turned blue.
I was worried, nothing was right,
Mommy and I were just supposed to be driving you to the doctor,
But the plans changed, we called the ambulance, you stopped breathing,
They took for what seemed like forever,
We did CPR, and it was just so hard.
I regret not saying goodbye, but I,
was speechless.