Dear Mom Poem by Nom Nom Nom

I know I'm the reason why you're sad;
the reason why you're mad;
I hate myself for making your day harder;
if I weren't here it probably would be better;
I am sorry, that's all I can say;
I won't wake up one day;
and you'll smile;
for the first time in a while;

I'll take more than one pill;
throw up pretending to be ill;
lose this weight and make you proud;
I'll do stuff only if I'm allowed;
I'll be just like her, I'll make you want me;
even if it makes my tears free;
my heart break;
knowing that I'm a mistake;

Tell me one more time that you hate me;
say this isn't how your life is meant to be;
don't hate them, only me because it's my fault;
our words count as assault;
lie to me saying you love me;
I know she's above me;

They say when you're drunk you speak what's inside;
and when your sober your true self will hide;
yes I'm sorry, why do I bother?
only hurting my Mother and Father;
I hurt others yet I don't see;
this is how they raised me;
with anger, hurt, low selfesteem;
I am your punching bag when you want to let out steam;
don't forget, I'll be broken;
and no longer will I be hoping;
you'll kill me one day;
because you can't push this pain away;
why wouldn't you understand!
All I need is my Mothers hand;
yet you only have two;
and we both know they're for who;
I am the middle child, yet I'm last;
and it was different in the past;
before he was alive;
when we could survive;
I was a mistake;
and that's why this smile of mine is fake....

~ Nom ~