Declaration: Nefarious Poem by Serena Vasquez

I don't know when it happened
but a while ago I realized something about myself
I am evil
I'm not the obvious kind of evil either
I'm the type that isn't in denial about my condition
but also refuses to acknowledge it
I'm the kind that isn't bad
However, little things of that nature are good
I've never said it outloud, but I am evil
Right now in this moment I will acknowledge it
I am the corrupt heroine on a big screen journey
Everyone is watching
They watch me, every decision I make
They even hear my thoughts
My snickers at inappropriate times
They experience my paradox
My innocence is rotting from the outside, inward
My mind is a drop of gasoline from a furnace somewhere in hell
wrapped lightly in skin and bone
My love is a festering wound in the flesh of a newborn baby
My heart is a golden chalice dripping with tar
I am a pleasant display of panic and chaos
I am brave, too brave
I am afraid, but not enough
Impulsivity is my weakness
Overthinking, my strength
Wisdom is a blessing from my past self
Anxiety, a curse of my future
I love who I am, but I could never love me
I love what I do, I cringe as I function.
I contradict myself, but If I'm only to be sure about one thing
it is me and my deadly evil.