Demon Shell Poem by Nathan Killeen

Demon Shell



Claws tear into my flesh.
Demons.
My demons
Created by me
Created for me
Created to end me.
But the end is not to come.
Not after what I have done,
Done to deserve such demons.
But what have I done?
Nothing!
And that is the travesty.
That is the reason you suffer.
The lack of action is your downfall.
You worthless fool.
Remaining idle while those you love
Slip away from you.
Love
How can you ignore something so very important?
How can you feel no pain for what has slipped away?
How can you go on?
And these are the claws that tear me away
That leave me outside of myself
So I don’t have to suffer my own…
Guilt?
No, not guilt.
Accusations.
Baseless and useless,
Pointing a finger inwards,
Pointing out all the faults.
Bearing me to myself.
Presenting myself for me to see.
And how could anyone love?
Love such an empty useless shell?
A charade is your life.
A charade is your lie.
I want to be free of the act,
But how do you dropp a mask when there’s no longer anything behind it?
Live a lie for long enough
And that lie becomes you.
So is it still a lie?
If you become what you are not, than is it still not you?
And on and on flesh falls away,
Leaving nothing but a hollow void.
A puppet of the lies you’ve made
To protect you from the truth
Only to destroy you from within
Self doubt
Self pity
Self loathing
These are your banes
You are the one who tore your heart,
Still beating from your chest.
Tore it out for safe keeping
Tore it out in ignorance
Only to long for it again.

But in all of this
A glimmer of hope.
A lone light shining
Shimmering though the void.
Drawing me into it’s warmth.
Putting me back into myself.
Healing the wounds that I myself caused.
Returning to me something to believe in.
But even as light fills this empty void
I come to see just how empty life can be
When you let yourself tear in misery
All that you can be.

(Aug 06)

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