Thato Maluleka

Depression Is A State Of Mind - Poem by Thato Maluleka

Depression is a state of mind, but I have consumed so much it is no longer a state of mind but reality in my mind.

I try to escape but there is no place for me to escape, I am being stalked by unbearable thoughts of my faults on my way to an unknown walk.

Consistency of unpredictability springs jumps to unreachable heights to place me at this misery, reality hits hard kills me tears me apart, disruption of life’s little parts of life.

My heart pounds in uncontrollable speeds I am in need of these, these pain consuming pills that kills freely, I’m in need to feel free indeed. But feeling free is neither for me nor we you see.

The disturbing features I produce that govern my whole being is not meant to be seen by the naked eye oh but my It will be introduced, soon.

My whole life Is made out of disappointments, I’m never in that moment, I lose courage to carry on I’m mentally switched off, the lights are turned off. I go off soon before I recall what is to be told, I’m cold, I talk slow to grasp the flow of my words, my utterance is off balance, my whole heart is abandoned.

I’m not human, my way of living is accurately out of character, and I smile for show so people won’t know what goes on behind those closed doors of lost hope, it’s all wrong.

I pray that one day I shall awake from this mind consuming depression state of mind truly unkind, cause my life’s extensions are non functional, I am in fear of going mental…

Creativity is crucial, my thoughts brutal, my life dysfunctional, Hope Seasonal, holding on not optional…

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, May 5, 2010

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