Thato Maluleka Poems

I want to find you cause you found me alone, Isolated from the world of love. Disconnected from an entire network of hope to love I long to hold love.
But you see I’m scared to get close to your warmth, so bear with my faults as I crawl to near your soul, cry showers of pain as I regret the choice that will unfold when I finally lose hope.
I carry on but can’t cope I sit around and mope thinking of experimenting with coke- blaze dope to cope, get crazy as I continue to lose hope… Damn I lost hope. Stashed her in a place of lost control I can’t onthou…
Still slowly in the mist of my silent sleep, almost like I was mocking death as I peacefully rest with no stress, you resurfaced, identity changed, a love I can finally embrace a love I can’t escape…
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I try to let go but the pull is so strong, I try to hold on but it feels so wrong.
I try to grasp you but you are slipping away, I try to go on but am forced to stay Hey… Let me walk away I shad to many tears, I fought hard still I have to face my fears.
I try to forget that face; try to run away from this place…
Ooh your body, perfectly shaped it drives me insane again and again, did I mention you drive me insane oh yes I did, but had to mention it again.
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Missing you is not easy, predictable the least. My mind tries to move on but my heart is in denial oblivious I can’t trust.

Missing you clouds my judgments of love, how can move on when I simply can’t, can I see you one last time, maybe just maybe my world can heal, simply basically be at ease.
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Missing you is not easy, predictable the least. My mind tries to move on but my heart is in denial oblivious I can’t trust it anymore.

Missing you clouds my judgments of love, how can I move on when I simply can’t ignore-ignore You & I, can I see you one last time, maybe just maybe my world can heal, simply basically be at ease.
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Death is knocking on my door, i scream as i can't take it no more, i consume alcohol to numb my thoughts, thoughts i can't stop neither control or put on hold.

Still in this mist of the storm i try with no success to form a greater goal not for me alone but for those that fought those that i leave behind to tremble and moarn over a lost soul, believe me i was that soul, but just somehow lost control of it all.
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in certain sections life becomes delibarate to munipulate certain circumstances desolve and reconstruct curtain fears and gears up and recreate that inner instance.

revolved yet unconclued thoughts overcrowding my undisrupted world i bet you its all my fault that external thoghts are also involved.
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life can seem like a challenge which it is, but reality can sometimes change its being.

what i am trying to mean is that it may seem deam but u see reality cansomtimes lie to save its being, which, which means u truly suluwhat i seem to mean...
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life can seem like a challenge which it is, but reality can sometimes change its being.

what i am trying to mean is that it may seem deam but u see reality cansomtimes lie to save its being, which, which means u truly suluwhat i seem to mean...
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There seems to be spaces that couldn't can't be filled, I feel empty almost unreal, I feel I am no longer a human being, just a skeleton amongst living beings.
Where did I go wrong, when did I seemingly start to lose that smile, did I walk down the wrong road, am I a lost soul, have I lost control.
U know all I seem to do is fake smile, pretend to be fine, laugh even as if I am having fun, but slowly inside I die, will I ever be fine.
If I may ask am I even myself at this time, is this pain gonna take a while some indefinite time.
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You- you are that breath taking mystery my heart has long longed for.
That fresh air, sweet scent aroma. a moment to last forever, a smile never to frown or be let down.
You that feeling of not wanting to let go, a story I would like to know, a picture I want to paint, u that saint.
U are truly great u drive me insane but hey in a good way.
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