Lacey Marie

Depression Makes Me Dizzy - Poem by Lacey Marie

Crowded nights,
Lonely taxi rides,
Messy hair,
Tired girl,
My life is a circus,
Mirrors everywhere,
Flaming hoops.

The pieces don’t fit,
They don’t fit in the box
Just hide the damage,
Going round in circles,
I spin,
If you are dizzy, you forget about the your problems.

I wish………..
I wish I were brave and could ask for help,
But there are things in my life I just cannot face,
I am not tough enough,
I use a box to keep things in
So then I can carry on spinning and forget.

I am sick of games,
Am I walking on the tightrope of life?
And will I fall off at any minute?
So many unanswered questions.

What is my world is what is destroying me,
It is possible to live and not be stained by the world?
Utopia is a distant memory

I sometimes think……
Has this gone too far?
Surely it will take years to return to that much sought after utopia.

Am I at the point of no return?
I can’t turn back now,
I long for things to be black and white, life has been grey for far too long,
What makes me happy?
Is it not living according to desire and taking the easy way out?

I am not walking, I am being carried,
Am I alone?
I am breathing consent to treatment,
My mind is dangerous.

Hold me up to the light in order that you might see who I truly am,
In the dark I am not really me.

New problems because of old ones,
I am in so deep,
In the ocean,
Bound in a box,
Superman couldn’t save me now,
Who will save me from myself?
What is real and what is in my head…I don’t know,
I just want someone to guide me

I am fighting,
Playing a game against myself,
I thought I had won,
The spinning is making me lose,
Can I finally catch my breath of sweet saving air,
How long will it last?

It’s really hard,
It’s hard taking the padlock off of the 'box',
The box that holds all of your feelings and emotions within your heart,
but once that lock is off it’s amazing how things begin to pour out.

Forgotten and alone,
I need a saving grace,
I’m looking,
No-one’s there……
I’m still spinning.

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Poem Submitted: Friday, March 30, 2007

Poem Edited: Wednesday, February 9, 2011

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