Desperately Lonely Poem by Elle Jay E..

Desperately Lonely

Before I would cry.
And pray I would die.
Because I got ignored everyday.
At least I had the people.
Even though we might not be equal.
That wouldnt give me the time of day.
At least I heard the voices.
Of differnt conversations.
That made me so lost in thought.
I was still sad.
And Matt made me mad.
But I was happier now then back when.
Id sit like a nobody at the end of the table.
And act like I was so stable.
Even though I was out of everyone elses sight.
The flight made me mad.
The voices made me more sad.
I was discluded like always.
Picked last for PE but I dont care anymore.
I was happier there than I ever was here through any door.
Im all alone now with just the sounds of a cow.
And the emptyness of gravel on the street.
I waste away my life.
And drown it in books.
Im just trying to run away from all the looks.
Id rather be ignored.
Than have nobody at all.
At least I could start a conversation.
With someone if I wanted to stall.
But now with no one here.
And my ear is clear, drowned in a rap smear.
My minds filled with confusion and fear.
I want to die but they cant hear.
Who can hear from so far away.
I try to avoid them so I wont have to hear them say.
How much they dont want me.
And how stupid I am.
How annoyed they get by me.
How much they dont want to be near me im like spam.
I did it to save them.
I thought I was helping.
They wouldnt have to worry about me yelping.
I have too many problems they dont want to hear about.
I have too many things they just wanna clear out.
I dont blame them for ignoring me, I might do the same.
I tried saving them but hurt myself, IM the one to blame.
I thought it'd be better for them all.
I didnt know id be begging for them back.
I cant go back I let too much slack.
My body wants food but my mind says I dont.
Im slowly starving.
I dont want to bloat.
The pain that goes with it is worse than before.
The cuts that were bleeding are like nothing anymore.
Im ashamed to say I wish I was dead.
Dead and gone with a bullet in my head.
Better for everyone that knew what I said.

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